This is for all the woman out there that have been dying to figure out how to win a sports guy, and with my dating advice you’ll score him in just under 5 games. And for the men that are reading, I’m sure you can confirm that my rules and regulations are 100% true.

Have you ever been at a bar or a game and watched all the good looking men cheering on their sports team but have no clue how to approach them? Have you craved the masculinity of a testosterone pumped man in your arms? Ever tried to sneak in a few words during a game only to get shut down because you were deemed unimportant or not knowing what you are talking about? Well what I have here is a manuscript on how you can claim that man in a Starter cap and jersey. Now please keep in mind you may have to mold your old ways in order to suit the man that is worthy of your trophy rack.

Lauren Pacheco Cleveland Browns Dating advice*I would like to note that I claim full responsibility of my cupid’s bow when it is successful, however if you fail then that is your own fault and you should have followed my directions verbatim for this text is a touchdown.

Prep Work: First find out what sports your future MVP is in to. Not every man is going to be 100% sold on football, baseball, and basketball. He may like Lacrosse (steer clear of those) or perhaps he is all about the golf game, or NASCAR, and there are even men that are just all about outdoor ruggedness sports, so pay close attention. And be weary of the men that are all about college teams, they are the feisty ones that need extra tender loving care. You know who you are. So for the purpose of this test, our test man will like a sports team in these 3 categories: NFL, MLB, and the NBA. Once you have figured out what pro team your man likes this is how you seal the deal.

Game #1: Whether it is football, baseball, or basketball, wear the teams colors. You don’t have to go out and buy a jersey but just wear the colors of the team. A man likes to know that you are a team player. Plus, secretly they think its cute although they will never tell you that. During this game 1 you should be able to know the basic rules of the game. If its basketball, know what a free throw is, know your positions, but don’t know too much. Just enough where you can understand what he is saying. Then the number one thing you must ALWAYS do during this date is have your man teach you something. Men love to be know-it-alls and they love to teach a woman something about what they know, especially sports. So go ahead ask him “What is a Zone defense?” or “Why was that a flagrant foul?” But have caution do not ask if there are any 4-pointers or touchdowns during a basketball game. Your future man will abort mission. Lastly order him some wings and smile at him every time his team scores. Once this date is over, go home study and make a follow up phone call for the next game.

Game #2: At this date you should pick the sports bar. Make sure its one with a little more sophistication. Reason being is he wants to know that you can take him to a sports bar and be the classy woman on his arm. No guy wants the belligerent girl on the second date. That girl is supposed to be out of your system once you hit sophomore year in college. At this date, lets say its a football game, wear at least a color that matches his team. If he is a Packer fan, wear green, do not wear purple for he will think you are going for the Minnesota Vikings and immediately get the check and bounce. At this date you will bring him a gift. At halftime, you will tell him you got him something and hand him a gift bag. You will have bought him a Flexfit cap with his favorite teams logo on the front. Men love gifts that relate to their sports team. This iswhere you win big. As the night goes on, make sure to have him teach you something about the football game. Ask about penalties, or plays, but do not mention anything about the gorgeous tight fitting pants that the football players wear. No man wants to hear that. Save that for your girlfriends. After this date, he should be sold on your engaging conversation and your ability to talk sports. Go home and google what he has told you and study more. You are on your way.

Game #3: At this point he realizes that you are worthy of going to an actual game. Whether its indoor or outdoor bring your A game. Live sports events are exciting and you don’t want a slug on a log sitting next to you in a stadium. Depending on if the cap you bought him relates to the game he has taken you to will matter because he will more likely be wearing it. Note: If you were smart you would check his teams schedule and make sure that you are on point. If you bought him a Colts cap and the Colts play later that week he may be subliminally thinking, “I should take her to a Colts game” Get my drift. During this game, excuse yourself to use the bathroom. Of course this is a lie and instead slather on some great lipstick, head to the food court and grab two ice cold beers and nachos. He will be surprised that A. you were so quick in the bathroom and B. you got him a beverage and a snack. This is a huge bonus. Always remember men like to be catered to like they are Greek Gods. You don’t have to feed him, just nurture his needs before he knows that he needs it. Hopefully over the last two games you have realized what is his favorite beverage and you haven’t ordered him a Bud when he enjoys Sierra Nevada. At the end of this game you should have locked lips after his team has won. If they have lost, you can easily change his attitude by taking him out for a bite to eat, then seduce him with your eyes and smile over your late night bite and he will have forgotten about the loss. Hopefully. If not, write a note to buy him another gift for next time.

Game #4: This date is crucial. He would have watched 3 games with you so far, now its time to test your knowledge. Make sure to research every stat on 2 players that will play in the game you will be watching. This date more than likely will be at his house since he has now figured out you are not a psycho. During the game tell him something that you know about one of the players. If you are watching a baseball game and one of the players you researched was the pitcher then tell him a stat such as, “Did you know that he came through “X” farm system then got traded to “Y” team before making it here? Wow, what a journey.” Then maybe throw in a couple of strike out stats and this should establish that you have done your homework. But try not to come off as a complete know it all because you don’t want to be his competition. You want to be his sports equal. After sprinkling more stats here and there, you will catch him checking you out as you watch the game. Be sure to cheer at the appropriate times and in these moments, he will realize that you might just be the one. At this date, do not stay over, go home, tell him thanks for the great time and you will see him at the next game. Insert a time and date of one of his teams next sports games. At this point he would have forgotten the schedule because you just blew his mind.

Game #5: This is the time that in your man’s head he is going to seal the deal and take you off the Free Agent market. He probably will take you to another sports game but this time with his buddies. He has to show you off and make sure that you are compatible with his bros, mates, pals, buds, or whatever men call their friends. At this point you should have a cute shirt that has the logo of the team you are about to watch. He may even have bought you one by now which then it is extremely important to wear it. After parading you around his friends during the game, he will excuse himself to use the “restroom” but what he is really doing is leaving you with his friends so they can interrogate you and see if you answer their questions correctly. Just remember whatever they ask you, it is a test. If they say, “Would you do Tom Brady?” Alert! This is a test, say “NO” and tell them you think he’s a chump and move on to the next question. This proves you are not just watching football to check out hot men and that you really like your man. Also beware of this question, “So what are you doing later?” This is usually said by the creepy friend that is only there because he invited himself. He will constantly try to pick up on you. After your man returns from the “bathroom break” then excuse yourself to go to the “bathroom” when in fact do what you did in Game #3 and grab 2 more beers and a corn dog. At this time he is conversing with his pals and they are telling him that you are the one and that he should lock you in for you are quite the catch. As they are saying this, you will have walked up, gave your man his corn dog and beer and then the rest will be history.

The bottom line is men are simple. Sometimes women complicate things and it doesn’t need to be that way. Here are a few other ground rules to making your man fall in love is be on time to a sports game. In fact, be early. Don’t start a fight with an opposing team for this will clue him in that you are the girl that gets kicked out of games for spitting on a ref. Always remember to have him teach you something. Even if you know the answer, let him explain it to you. Cater to your man and feed him often. These are all very easy and simple tasks. Lastly, DO NOT buy a pink jersey. No man likes them. No one. Find me a man that does and I’ll show you a man that has a pet Yorkie. Trust me its bad news.

I hope this helps and if you need specific advice on how to seal the deal with man with specific needs, such as he is a hockey fan, Tour de France lover, or even an MMA geek, then please email me. Some of these men are more difficult then others. I look forward to hearing from you. I will accept all future wedding invites, just don’t make the date during one of my teams games. Because I’ll turn your I do to an I don’t.

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